


Starved

by Blake_Belladonna_Defence_Force



Series: Bumbleby Oneshots [12]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Adam is a dick, Angst, Blake is touch starved, Emotional Abuse, F/F, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26559529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blake_Belladonna_Defence_Force/pseuds/Blake_Belladonna_Defence_Force
Summary: A look into what a more apprehensive Blake might look like.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Series: Bumbleby Oneshots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926181
Comments: 7
Kudos: 267





	Starved

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified"

Touch starvation; something that occurs when a person experiences little to no touch from other living things.

Blake is …  _ intimately  _ familiar with the concept. During her time with Adam, touch had often been used as what she can only describe as a reward/punishment system. If she “behaved herself,” Adam’s touch would be gentle, a hand pressing into her back or knuckles trailing down her face. If she stepped out of line… he would remove all touch, ignoring her and depriving her until she had “learned her lesson.”

Blake knows now that it had been far from normal. That it was wrong and cruel of Adam to weaponize something that is so important to her. She knows now just how starved she’s been for so long for gentle touches without expectation, without having to earn them. She knows that she shouldn’t have to bend over backwards to be worthy of them.

But it still overwhelms her when Yang so easily presses a hand to her back as she passes her, when her partner gives her that gentleness she has been craving for so long without demand or control. When Yang’s hand grazes Blake’s own, her skin prickles and it’s all she can do not to burrow herself into Yang’s neck, feeling too selfish to ask for more.

“Hey.” Yang’s voice is gentle and concerned as Blake closed her eyes against the sudden sting of tears, her hand moving to frame Blake’s jaw tenderly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Blake murmurs, reaching up to grip at Yang’s arms tightly, suddenly scared to lose this moment. But Yang stays where she is, thumb brushing Blake’s cheek softly. “Just… can you-“ Blake falters, suddenly unsure of herself and whether she should voice her needs.

“It’s okay. Whatever it is, you can ask me.”

“Can you… hold me?” Blake asks in a small voice, her breath hitching slightly as she finally voices her request. “Please?”

Wordlessly, Yang bundles her into her arms and pulls her close to her chest, letting Blake bury her face in her neck and inhale deeply. Her fingers card through Blake’s short hair, trailing patterns down her spine and rubbing soothing circles into her back. Blake clings to her tightly, letting out a shuddering breath as she slowly melts into Yang’s embrace, wondering at how easily Yang gave her affections.

“How’s this?” Yang says quietly, as she leans against the wall of Blake’s bunk. 

“Perfect.” Blake breathes, snuggling closer to Yang. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m…  _ really  _ not complaining here, Blake.” Yang chuckles softly, and Blake feels a smile of her own grow when Yang presses a kiss to her temple. “You know that I’m here for you, right? You don’t need to, like, be scared of telling me what you need.”

Blake remains silent, choosing instead to close her eyes and relish in the feeling of Yang’s body against her own as Yang’s hands trail affectionate patterns against her back, shoulders and sides. It takes a long time for Blake to speak up and when she does, she finds herself confessing something she had been biting back for some time.

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.” 

“... oh.” Yang utters quietly, gently tightening her hold on Blake when her partner stiffens, anxiety coiling her muscles tightly. “Why does that scare you?”

“I thought I loved Adam but… it was  _ never _ anything like this. He never made me feel the way you do.” Blake mutters, keeping her gaze on Yang’s neck, refusing to look at her. 

“How do I make you feel?”

“Safe. Treasured. Like I matter. Like what I  _ need  _ matters.” Blake’s voice becomes strained, her fingers curling tightly into Yang’s jacket. “Everything with him was a fight and a struggle. But it’s so…  _ easy  _ with you. I don’t have to break my back or bruise or bleed with you. You make me feel like- like just being me is enough.”

“Because you  _ are  _ enough. I’m sorry he hurt you. I’m sorry that he made you jump through hoops like that, Blake. But I’m not going to do that to you.” Yang brushes her lips against Blake’s cheeks, her breath ghosting over Blake’s skin and sending a shiver down her spine. “Do  _ I  _ scare you?”

“No, of course not. I trust you.” Blake says, not even needing to think about it. “I just… love has always been painful. I don’t- I don’t think I know  _ how  _ to be loved right.”

“You seem to be doing a pretty good job of it right now, Blake.” Yang says softly, as she gently pushes Blake away to look her in the eyes, her hands remaining on Blake’s biceps and her thumbs stroking her bare skin gently. “And, if you’d let me… I could show you.”

“I want to.” Blake breathes, leaning into Yang’s hand when she cups her jaw again. “But I’m scared.”

“I know. Me too, Blake.” Yang presses their foreheads together and lets out a shaky breath, and for the first time, Blake sees her own fear reflected back at her in her partner’s lilac gaze. “So… if this is something you want… maybe we could… just take it slow?”

“I- yeah. I’d like that.” Blake smiles, a small and watery thing, as Yang’s eyes light up. “Is… this something  _ you  _ want?”

“It is.” 

Blake closed her eyes, letting herself drink in the feeling of Yang’s lips pressing against her forehead lovingly. 

Healing didn’t happen overnight. She wore a lot of open wounds left by the man who had pretended to love her. But with time they would heal and throughout it all, Blake knows that she has the  _ real  _ love and support of the patient woman before her.

Yang’s touch and love wasn’t a weapon. 

No. It was a haven of safety and Blake wanted to know more about it, scared though they may both be.


End file.
